Forget pancaking flipping on Shrove Tuesday. I’m naming this Grumps’ week. Researchers at Harvard University for the online journal Current Biology now believe that being aggressive, intolerant and short-tempered could be a sign of a more advanced nature.
Now everyone can behave like Gordon Ramsey without a twinge of guilt, and critics can breathe a sigh of relief. As the world warmed in recent years and plaints like “Can’t we all get along?” multiplied, the acerbic critic has been on the wane this side of the Atlantic – Pauline Kael and Nathan Cohen would never get a byline today. The last of the great grumps was the theatre critic John Simon who was dumped by New York Magazine for someone more “constructive” ie,a nice guy who pats the promising on the head.
My inner grump released, I decide – as a public service and so the bloggers don’t have all the fun – to revise my policy of not reviewing restaurants of no redeeming social value. Like Zin. This Chinese restaurant succeeded Boba on Avenue Road last summer. After sampling four dishes which defied their descriptions by all tasting the same, I thought Zin won’t last. Mistake. It’s still open. I also let off Papillon on the Park, a new branch of the successful crepe chain. I ate the Quebec menu and decided not to comment because my remarks might cause a constitutional crisis.
In this cautious spirit, I would have swallowed the check from the Local Company on the Danforth east of Logan. But now…
The emailed press release emphasized the food… “ The Local Company’s menu reflects Chef Steven Wilson’s dedication to contemporary Canadian cuisine while emphasizing his commitment to support local food growers and producers” – so what else is new? On the other hand, “ Chef Wilson prepares everything in-house, even condiments, garnishes and ice creams.” I was interested enough to discount the ominous words. “ Diners will also be treated to the sultry sounds of bossa nova while they dine in a stylish loft ambience.” Now I think of it, funny they didn’t just say it’s a resto lounge, dude.
The Local Company is almost empty when we arrive around 7.30 on a Friday evening. It’s a barn of a place, a former dress shop, high ceilings with chandeliers, red brick walls, a blacked out entertainment space at the end. No Bossa Nova.
The waiter swaggers over with ‘tude. “Hey, How YOU doing?” When our table starts to pitch and yaw, upsetting the water, a busboy struggles to adjust it while the waiter is standing at the bar. We finally say we want another table. No apology.
We order hopefully. The three onion soup with aged Ontario cheddar $7 is fragrant and rather too sweet, the crust of bread and cheese is comforting. But there’s a problem with the other order. Instead of Wilted greens with Broome Lake Duck Confit and crisp potato “croutons” $11, my companion is served a duckless salad. The waiter bristles “You said wilted greens…” “That’s right.” No apology. Fifteen minutes later, after I’ve finished my soup, an incredibly salty duck confit arrives.
Ten minutes later, the waiter comes up “Hey, How YOU doing?” Then he retires to the bar where the help is congregating.
After this experience, I drop the idea of ordering sage gnocchi because gnocchi are routinely murdered by lesser cooks, but then I go and order risotto, also dodgy eating in the city. Red wine braised veal cheeks $17 are rich enough but they come with an overnuked rice pudding with skin on top and showing few signs of the advertised wild mushrooms. Like the veal cheeks, the pork chop comes from Ontario but I’m not going to hold Premiere McGuinty personally responsible for its tough dryness. Fashionable roots accompany the pig.
We have to hail HeyHowYOUdoing? at the bar to find out about desserts. An anemic pineapple sorbet.
As we leave, I learn that the general manager is stuffing his face at one of the VIP tables, so-called because they’re higher than the other ones. HeyhowYOUdoing is the floor manager. I don’t tip him. I should of course have looked him in the eye and told him exactly why — because the service was dreadful and the experience ugly. But I lost my nerve. If he reads this review he will after all know why.
The Local Company 511 Danforth Ave 416-465-5522 wheelchair accessible. Dinner for two: food/tax: $100
