Farming country, Britwell Salome...
Young Ryan Simpson just got his one star from Michelin for his cooking at the gastro pub The Goose — when the owner gave him the boot saying his food was “too poncey”. More bangers and mash were needed on the menu.
After all, the Goose’s regulars are farm folk from Britwell Salome. I remember from my childhood that Britwell Salome, a few miles away from where my family lived, was kneedeep in mud. Can’t see the locals knowing what to make of Simpson’s roasted wood pigeon and carpaccio of Chiltern Hills muntjac — although they might know what I don’t, ie what a muntjac is what is - a deer! Still the owner does seem confused. This the third star chef he’s fired.
Tony Turnbull on Timesonline follows up with advice on how to spot a pretentious restaurant. ..”–There is nothing wrong with fancy cooking — or, indeed, formal service — if that is what customers want. The problem comes when a restaurant’s ambition is hopelessly at odds with reality, when both front of house and the kitchen fall back on a lazy notion of what fine dining should be — in other words, they resort to ponciness. Watch out for the telltale signs. I’ve picked the items that are particularly apt for Toronto.
The greeting Hospitality should be the watchword of any good restaurant, and this is their chance to put you at your ease. That doesn’t involve making you stand there like an asylum seeker while they check if your name is indeed on their reservations list. Would it hurt to take you at your word?Has Tony ever got this right! Being given the stasi treatment at the door is a real downer and it happens all the time.
Presentation “This is the category in which a restaurant’s ponciness can go off the scale. Dribbles of this, towers of that — some chefs think that every plate must be a minor work of art. While I agree that we eat first with our eyes, let’s not lose sight of what is really important here: the taste. The more artfully tweaked a dish, the longer it has spent under the heat lamp and the more closely the chef has breathed over your plate.” Sometimes I think a fashion stylist has designed the plate before anything’s been cooked. Food rarely lives up to an overstyled dish.
Service Staff “in properly smart restaurants do the bare minimum. They take your order, they bring food to your table, they take away the empty plates. Please note, they do not continually refill your wine glass; keep asking if everything is all right; point to your dish with their little finger and tell you that the salmon is the salmon and the shellfish veloute is the shellfish veloute (I know, I ordered the damn thing).” Right on. Refilling the glass is a way of making you drink more, order more wine. The Hey How YOU Doing chorus should be banned by any smart restaurateur. If I’m fed up, I’ll let you know….
Tableware “I have round plates and bowls at home. I use them for all sorts of things: soup, pasta, fish, meat, puddings. Curiously, I don’t have octagonal plates, I don’t have square plates, I don’t have crescent-shaped bowls or huge-rimmed bowls like the sombreros of Mexican midgets. Come to think of it, I don’t know how I manage.” Yes. Why bury scrambled eggs in a bowl? Nothing looks more welcoming than a plate of beautifully scrambled eggs.
